So seriuosly how much have I missed!!!!

I sure have missed out a lot and now that I have my internet up and running at home I will try to do better at this. Just hard to get away from the cutie pa tooties so I will wait till after bedtime!
How to even begin writing. My twin boys are already 3 months old. What a joy motherhood has been. No words can really describe this type of love.
Labor Day Story:
I went in for my regular appointment May 20 at 4:00 p.m. est and after having contractions all night May 19th I told the nurse they might want to check me. This was on a Thursday and the Monday I was dilated to 2 and 90% effaced (and on bedrest for about 3 weeks at this point) The doctor checked me and he then got out his phone and started going through it. “DR. CHILDS!” Oh yes my doctor is Dr. Kent Childs, possibly the best doctor in the world! He held out his hand and showed me all of his fingers! Dilated to 5! So he called Parkridge and told them I was coming and I just kept saying “Oh my gosh are you serious” so
Dr. Childs go out of the room so I can dress and Nick hands me my shoes and I look up and say “Are you nervous?” and he just smiled and said “Yeah starting to be now” and I started giggling …that is what I do when I get scared or nervous and said “Me too” Here we go!
Off to the hospital we were sent. I just kept thinking, I am about to be a mom! I am about to meet my two sweet angels. We got to the hospital and got our stuff loaded up. By Dr. Childs checking me I was having pretty good contractions so I was sitting by the registration table with my legs wide open just breathing hoping this lady would hurry up (which she was not). I was thinking Okay what is the point of PRE REGISTRATION when it takes longer to come back? Anyway I kept looking at Nick and he had the most serious look on his face which was making me giggle again because I knew he was getting more nervous standing there waiting and I was getting giddy lol I can’t control “the giggles” at all! I didn’t know where to put my thoughts. I wanted to start screaming “I am about to have my twins!!!! We got settled in my room and there we were! Actually right before that I told the nurses to give Nick the epidural so he would chill out.
I started getting hooked up to IVs and all these questions were being asked and I just wanted to scream Oh my goodness I am about to be a mom! (Yes if you are asking this is all that I was thinking) We got settled in about 6:30pm and my epidural was administered around 7 something. That was not bad at all but Nick’s face was way worse. I was thinking in my head your face better not be doing that when I am in labor! Then it looked like it scarred him when they left I was like seriously I felt a prick, calm yourself!
My legs started getting tingly and I became very relaxed. Poor little Major was having a problem with the pitocin so they took me off of it a couple of times. I think I got the lowest dose you can get for maybe 30 minutes 2 different times so really that didn’t help progress the labor. I had to be put on oxygen because of his heartrate dropping. I had seen in videos the instrument that use to break your water and when my doctor first got there to check me all of a sudden I heard a gush and I thought “Oh gracious I just peed on everyone” so what do I do? I start laughing and say sorry lol but then my doctor (who knows me quite well at this point) starts laughing and said I just broke your water! OOOOHHH thank goodness! Lol
Around 11:30 p.m. they came in to check me and I was at 9 so off I got wheeled to the delivery room. Nick told Dr. Childs to make sure enough nurses were there bc he wanted to stay by my head
I was sssoo excited. It was such a surreal experience. Everyone that had these horrid stories must not have had the experience I did bc I was just soaking it all in. We got there and there were people scrambling around me getting ready. It was such a rush. Dr. Childs looked at Nick and said “Nick I need you to grab a leg and not be a sissy” Turns out another lady came in about to have her child and 2 of my nurses had to leave to go help hehe I thought it was funny.

So every contraction I had to push. It was awesome because you have everyone encouraging you and I had a nurse counting to 10 pretty much up in my face, I loved it lol. So we all tried to guess what genders my two little angels were last minute. After probably 3 pushes I could feel “Baby A” head crowning and Nick was like “Oh my gosh I can see the head full of hair!” 1. I was thinking why he is watching if he was so adamant about not seeing anything! Then 2. I got this rush of energy to get this baby out! So I think it was a couple more contractions and I felt this sudden release it was awesome. BABY BOY! Well duh! We had a strong feeling one would be a boy so that was no surprise to us.

Tripp Layne Ledbetter was born to us at 12:55 a.m. May 21st at 5’4lbs and 19.25” long. I was just watching in absolute amazement as they were getting him cleaned up thinking, that is my child! Mine…no one elses (well..nick lol) alllll mine! I could feel Dr. Childs working with me to get “Baby B” turned around and I felt pressure on my left side so I automatically thought it was the head. Then I heard a nurse say “I have never seen this being done like that before” and Dr. Childs said next contraction PUSH. So I did and out comes …….BABY BOY My little Peanut 1:05 a.m. May 21 4’9lbs and 17.5 inches long. (yes if you are looking at the times, if I had delivered in Alabama, my twins would have had separate birthdays!)
Major did not cry coming out but they got him to really quick. He came out breach…that was easy for me lol. He was black and blue though from all the tugging. Unfortunately they had to be whisked away to NICU bc they barely passed their tests. They were both in shock from the delivery. Tripp had his cord wrapped around his neck and Major well from coming out breach. I got to hold Tripp for maybe a second and got to see Major for a second.
I got wheeled back to my room and when the nurse left the tears came. Not happy tears. I felt so extremely empty. I could not feel them anymore in me and they were not in my arms. That could possibly be the worst feeling in the world. Nick of course was like “Oh I know I am happy too you did so good” so I started just boohooeing telling him I was not happy! Nick was getting on the phone with his parents who were outside waiting telling them everything and my doctor comes in and sees that I had been crying. Nick was talking on the phone trying to put my hair back up in a ponytale and Dr. Childs starts consoling me telling me they are in good shape but like he warned me they were just too early to be 100% by themselves and just needed to be watched. As he is telling me this he is watching Nick trying to put my hair up and finally he was like “oh just give me that” and so there my doctor sat and put my hair up in a ponytail That is why he is the best doctor! For those who are thinking why couldn’t you do it yourself is because I was shaking so bad from the side effects of the epidural plus I had a stiff neck that was the worst part of the labor.
After the NICU nurse came to talk to us about what was going on they loaded me up in the wheelchair and off we went to see our babies. Thank goodness they had not changed shifts yet because the nurses who were there first let me touch their skin. They were in their little hospital beds with IVs in their heads. It was pitiful but at the same time it was this amazing feeling that came over me. This sudden protection where if anyone looked at those babies the wrong way they would have to deal with me lol. I just wanted to shield them from the world and hold them and show them how much I loved them already. I finally understood a SMALL part of God’s love for us. Bc if God trusted me with these two babies he must love me a whole lot!
We took so many pictures and were pointing out little features each of them had. I didn’t want either of them not to have someone with them so if Nick was looking at one I was by the other and vice versa. Perfect was not the word I would use to describe how they looked



I just wanted to hug them so tight and never let them go.

When we got back to our room I immediately asked for a pump. I was bound and determined that I was going to breastfeed these babies! I was told later that by the pediatrician (or neonatologist I believe is proper word) that I could feed them at 10:30 that morning. I got the lactation consultant called so that she could help. That was a long process none of us knew what we were doing at all! But I never got frustrated I was determined. Each time it got a tiny bit easier. But that first couple of hours I was being groped pretty much! But the little advice I can give from being an amateur is that if you really want to don’t give up because it is so worth it in the end.

We stayed in the hospital two nights and got to go home that Sunday night. I had to check if they were breathing quite often lol but gosh I love them. And now they are about to be 3 months. The personalities are coming out and they are smiling and recognizing us and just cooing and talking to us. It is such an amazing feeling. I came back to work with them at 2.5 months. I did okay being away. Not the most pleasant feeling but I knew I had to and they were in good hands. Who do they look like? Well depending on who you talk to. To me, they look like Tripp and Major. They are such good babies. Tripp has a little spitting up issue but has been doing better lately. Here right before 3 months they are both teething! Bless the person who invented teething tablets is all I have to say. They wake up about 1-2 times a night and go back to sleep pretty easily. We have our moments but they are few and far between.
Here are our angels now….

I would do everything all over again for these boys. They are truly my angels that God has sent to me.

I'm back ....thanks to my Brookie T

Sorry Brooke that is what you will always be to me just like I am "Gerb" to many :-)

Well it has only been 5 years since I have been able to log on. I went to get this wonderful new Christmas template and it locked me out of my blog! But thanks to Brooke, she went in and changed it from a different computer and now I am back :-).....and more fat ;-)

I am not even going to try to catch up at what all is going on in my life. The main thing is preparing for my babies to get here. We are getting piece by piece every month to add to their babies room. I am not going all out but I am making it special. I care more about organization than looks lol so that is what I am aiming for but thanks to my very talented mother, the room will look very special and original. I have become very familiar with Amazon and Ebay :-) If you watch out for the deals you can really get them cheap on those two sites. So far I have ordered and received their book collections in Dr. Seuss and the Barenstein Bears. I got very excited when both of those came in. I have had a little bit of an oops when it came to one set of the Dr. Seuss books...I ordered blank books with Dr. Seuss covers so I ended up using it as part of a decoration and will put it on their book shelf later. And......I got my cloth diapers in the mail!!!! I also won a bid on ebay that was an excellent deal for more. I really didn't think that I was going to win that specific one but I did and I was thrilled. Now onto address something else that is not so positive. One thing I have noticed is you have two groups of people that you come in contact with when you are pregnant, one group will support you, tell you what an amazing experience parenthood is, how that love is indescribable and they will also tell you that YOU PERSONALLY have to find out what works for you and your babies. All babies are different. All parents are different. All individuals are different. And then you come across the people that their aim and goal in life is to scare the holy mess out of you and really make you want to dread parenthood. I think its sad and I have come across more of these people than the positive ones. Sometimes I think, "if it was so bad for you the first time, why did you have more kids?" My mother has NEVER complained or said one bad thing about her experience as a mother. She explains pregnancy, labor and early parenthood as this wonderful adventure and complete gift from God. She has instilled this in my brain and I have a hard time thinking any other way. I went into this pregnancy with a smile on my face. When I was getting sick very bad in the beginning, I smiled every time I raised up knowing the little squirts were already being rebellious against their mother. When I didn't feel good and I felt nautious I would lay on the couch and just hold my belly and have the most comforting feeling inside of me. When I would turn my nose up at every sort of food and not be able to eat, I would get excited because I was able to get pregnant and God blessed me with TWO children. I have kept a wide smile on my face the entire time bc when I was told that I might not carry my second twin, I prayed hard, cried hard and God blessed me! Do I know about labor yet? Nope have no clue. But you know what, whether I gripe and complain or smile and be "ready" for it, its coming! Yep will probably hurt like haedes but you know what? At the end of it, I will get to be the luckiest woman in the world with my new family! And then afterwards, I will probably be a walking zombie getting no sleep and trying to figure everything out, but I hope as tired as I am I will see hear their sweet little cries and know and thank God for allowing me to be tired because He got my babies here safely.

A lot of people don't understand my reasoning and they blame it on ignorance. I love being ignorant then! I have gotten a lot of "your an idiot" "I give it a day" etc. etc. when my idea of cloth diapering comes up, or the fact that I am planning to nurse. In the beginning it bothered me. It tore me down. It made me think, do I even know what I am doing? And then I realized something, I can do ALL things in Christ that strengthens me! If MY plan does not work out, I will fervently pray for God to lead me in the right direction from that point on.

I say all that to say this. I have found peace in people's comments and also realize its not a target against me and they are not trying to hurt me...they just don't know any better. And now when I get the "laugh in my face your a moron" reaction when they hear about any of my thoughts or ideas I smile. And thats all I do. I smile and walk away. Bc in the end, my babies will get here safely, Lord willing, and when I see any other expecting first time mother, I will hug her and encourage her and then I will be able to tell her that its a love that I can't describe and how much God has blessed me....as He has all mothers.

I'm glad I am back. I am 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I have gained 14 pounds :-) Its hard to see the scale go past a point that you are not used to but its funny at the same time. I have gained 11 inches (yep that is not a typo). And my babies are doing great. The move around and kick me and flip and I smile. I have no problem with people I know touching my belly. Some people look at your belly as if they are seeing your babies, and that makes me smile too. I love the strong radiation that is given off of pregnant people to light up a room to see a growing belly. I am now getting the "wow you are going to be huge" and "Yep your are definitely pregnant" and that makes me even more happy because it means they are growing. I am even called a "chubby friend" and I love that nickname.

Okay enough enough I have to get to work but I will be back now more often with more updates on the babies room and items I order :-)