I'm back ....thanks to my Brookie T

Sorry Brooke that is what you will always be to me just like I am "Gerb" to many :-)

Well it has only been 5 years since I have been able to log on. I went to get this wonderful new Christmas template and it locked me out of my blog! But thanks to Brooke, she went in and changed it from a different computer and now I am back :-).....and more fat ;-)

I am not even going to try to catch up at what all is going on in my life. The main thing is preparing for my babies to get here. We are getting piece by piece every month to add to their babies room. I am not going all out but I am making it special. I care more about organization than looks lol so that is what I am aiming for but thanks to my very talented mother, the room will look very special and original. I have become very familiar with Amazon and Ebay :-) If you watch out for the deals you can really get them cheap on those two sites. So far I have ordered and received their book collections in Dr. Seuss and the Barenstein Bears. I got very excited when both of those came in. I have had a little bit of an oops when it came to one set of the Dr. Seuss books...I ordered blank books with Dr. Seuss covers so I ended up using it as part of a decoration and will put it on their book shelf later. And......I got my cloth diapers in the mail!!!! I also won a bid on ebay that was an excellent deal for more. I really didn't think that I was going to win that specific one but I did and I was thrilled. Now onto address something else that is not so positive. One thing I have noticed is you have two groups of people that you come in contact with when you are pregnant, one group will support you, tell you what an amazing experience parenthood is, how that love is indescribable and they will also tell you that YOU PERSONALLY have to find out what works for you and your babies. All babies are different. All parents are different. All individuals are different. And then you come across the people that their aim and goal in life is to scare the holy mess out of you and really make you want to dread parenthood. I think its sad and I have come across more of these people than the positive ones. Sometimes I think, "if it was so bad for you the first time, why did you have more kids?" My mother has NEVER complained or said one bad thing about her experience as a mother. She explains pregnancy, labor and early parenthood as this wonderful adventure and complete gift from God. She has instilled this in my brain and I have a hard time thinking any other way. I went into this pregnancy with a smile on my face. When I was getting sick very bad in the beginning, I smiled every time I raised up knowing the little squirts were already being rebellious against their mother. When I didn't feel good and I felt nautious I would lay on the couch and just hold my belly and have the most comforting feeling inside of me. When I would turn my nose up at every sort of food and not be able to eat, I would get excited because I was able to get pregnant and God blessed me with TWO children. I have kept a wide smile on my face the entire time bc when I was told that I might not carry my second twin, I prayed hard, cried hard and God blessed me! Do I know about labor yet? Nope have no clue. But you know what, whether I gripe and complain or smile and be "ready" for it, its coming! Yep will probably hurt like haedes but you know what? At the end of it, I will get to be the luckiest woman in the world with my new family! And then afterwards, I will probably be a walking zombie getting no sleep and trying to figure everything out, but I hope as tired as I am I will see hear their sweet little cries and know and thank God for allowing me to be tired because He got my babies here safely.

A lot of people don't understand my reasoning and they blame it on ignorance. I love being ignorant then! I have gotten a lot of "your an idiot" "I give it a day" etc. etc. when my idea of cloth diapering comes up, or the fact that I am planning to nurse. In the beginning it bothered me. It tore me down. It made me think, do I even know what I am doing? And then I realized something, I can do ALL things in Christ that strengthens me! If MY plan does not work out, I will fervently pray for God to lead me in the right direction from that point on.

I say all that to say this. I have found peace in people's comments and also realize its not a target against me and they are not trying to hurt me...they just don't know any better. And now when I get the "laugh in my face your a moron" reaction when they hear about any of my thoughts or ideas I smile. And thats all I do. I smile and walk away. Bc in the end, my babies will get here safely, Lord willing, and when I see any other expecting first time mother, I will hug her and encourage her and then I will be able to tell her that its a love that I can't describe and how much God has blessed me....as He has all mothers.

I'm glad I am back. I am 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I have gained 14 pounds :-) Its hard to see the scale go past a point that you are not used to but its funny at the same time. I have gained 11 inches (yep that is not a typo). And my babies are doing great. The move around and kick me and flip and I smile. I have no problem with people I know touching my belly. Some people look at your belly as if they are seeing your babies, and that makes me smile too. I love the strong radiation that is given off of pregnant people to light up a room to see a growing belly. I am now getting the "wow you are going to be huge" and "Yep your are definitely pregnant" and that makes me even more happy because it means they are growing. I am even called a "chubby friend" and I love that nickname.

Okay enough enough I have to get to work but I will be back now more often with more updates on the babies room and items I order :-)